York for £1

Have you ever wondered how much fun you can have in a northern city for a pound (and by northern I am, of course, referring to anything higher than Exeter). Up in the extreme north, then, in York, you can actually do quite a bit for £1 as Mr. Barnard and myself found out yesterday.

CITY BUS TRIP
Duration: 1 hour
Price: £1
Review: Having little battery life left in our cameras the evidence of Sunday's day trip around York are rather limited. However, Mr. Barnard was able to take a few photos of different places in York at the height of the second floor of a double decker bus. It was a little bit chilly and away from the front of the bus, it was difficult at times to hear what the lady was telling you, about the local landmarks.

JORVIK VIKING CENTRE
Duration: not too long
Price: free (with York card on special weekends like that)
Review: Having heard mixed reviews of the Jorvik Viking Centre Mr. Barnard and I went to check it out. There is an interesting time travel ride at the beginning with a little film about a boy and a girl going back intime, and wearing lots of different period clothing. This was followed by a sort of ride that is usually reserved for haunted houses at theme parks. However, there were not any ghosts and we were taken around York, as it was back in ye olde Viking days. Comic relief is provided by one man having difficulty with his stools. Other than these rides, the Viking Centre tails off and goes a bit down hill. Although you get to wear Viking helmets and cloaks to have your picture taken and can play the archaeologist with goggles, plastic tweezers, magnifying glass and a tray of assorted "artefacts". Mr. Barnard suggested it was not as engaging as a museum in Chester.

YORK DUNGEON
Duration: moderate to good
Price: free (with York card on special weekends like that)
Review: This was one of the highlights of the day. With real life actors and water being squirted, as well as the chance, to turn a big torture wheel thing, this was the most interactive part of the day. First we visited the doctor, who talked to a manakin with a tape recorder inserted in it. Mr Barnard did his best to try and make the actors speak out of character. Your beloved MJ was tried and convict of being "extremely guilty" on account of dressing up as a woman and running amock in old York city - allegedly. Mr Barnard did his best to leave with a jar of leeches. We also met an Irish Viking that also knew a bit about the history of Irish emigration too.

TOTAL:

Bus ride + Jorvik Viking Centre + York Dungeon = £1

Ideal.

Shock Defeat for South Bank

YORK, UK: THE CHINESE PHILOSOPHER, CONFUCIUS once said that a despotic leader is "crueler than a tiger". He obviously had not come across association football.

South Bank Utd suffered an unexpected defeat in their first game of the season, at the "tent" today, as they succumbed to a team of greater number. Without three main squad players, including one of the club's Swedish international stars, who were unable to play, South Bank were forced to field a side of only four men. They also took the potentially risky decision to put player/manager, MJ in as caretaker goalkeeper.

Before the match, acting captain, "Medway" was optimistic about the team's chances, suggesting that if South Bank snuck in an early goal, they could then shut up shop and clinch the game. Unfortunately this was not to be so. The playing conditions were undesirable to the South Bank team, who were unaware of the change of venue of today's event and were forced to rush onto the pitch fifteen minutes late, when discovering today's playing field. Mr. Dean, who is the usual goalkeeper for South Bank, cautioned the team that they should not take too much from today's result, as they were unusually understrenth. Indeed, when the team is back to full capacity, it should be confirmed that today's match will not set the precedent for the weeks to come.

There are several theories on how South Bank were beaten today. Some commentators believe that suspect Winter training schedules were a hindrance to some player's readiness. However, the league in which South Bank participates, enjoys the luxury not afforded to other professionals in the English game - a Winter recess. Others point to the usual slow build up of momentum that can halt some teams' progress in the early stages of the league. This perhaps was best shown by the number of the present South Bank faithful, supporting in the "tent" today, consisting of Mr. MDJ Barnard, honorary life chairman and leader of the supporters' club. There was a number of unnaffiliated interest in the stadium, with one disparaging remark directed towards MJ, suggesting that he does not look much like a goalkeeper.

After the match, MJ, gave the team bananas instead of the traditional quartered oranges, as part of a new dietry regime. Mr. MDJ Barnard met with MJ for discussions after the match in which he explained that "the team performed highly couragously considering the circumstances". MJ's managership of the club is my no means under threat, and Mr. MDJ Barnard suggested that MJ's role in today's game had been a "pious" one, in accordance with "God's will."

Lovely Lord Hutton

Here is a picture of Lord Hutton (of Hutton Inquiry fame) giving a lecture to a York University crowd, hosted by the York Union Society. He gave an interesting talk on criminal law, in particular the considerations that are utilised in regards to death by another's action or inaction, so to speak, m'lud. Apologies for the slightly grainy nature of this above picture. It was not taken undercover:

This is me and the lovely Lord Hutton. Ideal. He seemed very nice and grandfatherly:

A strange thing happened to me on the way from the blog

You know the way you can move to another blog, by clicking on "next blog" and a random blog appears. Well, I decided to do that today and came across an interesting quote:

"Today was one of those days where someone really pressed me to the limits. You ever experience one of those types of people that just serious messed with your mind until you just completely exploded, going way past your boiling points. Then, I decided to just let off some steam and go looking for more info about hunter air cleaners. It was truly releasing."*

I'm not of the temperament to get irritated, usually, and cannot imagine that if I ever got a bit wound up I would relieve myself by looking for air purifying units. Each to their own, I guess. Although, saying that, I must confess, I was intrigued by the "Mustang" Air Cleaners" found on the website he refers to.

*This quote was taken from http://fraud-detection-center.blogspot.com/

Concise Dictionary of Mini-Biography

Mr. Marsden and I were conversing on MSN the other evening, after about how condensed you could make someones biography. Here are the best of our attempts:

Stalin, Middle class family, dabbled in politics, died

Holt, Prime Minister of Australia, went for a swim

Karl Marx, wrote one book too many,

JF Kenndy, slept around a bit, likes airports

DeGaulle, resigned, 1969, also likes airports

John Lennon, orphan, sang songs, also loves a good airport

Jeffery Archer, toss pot

Henry VIII, domestic trouble

Winston Churchil, unpopular with the welsh

Richard Whiteley, sometimes played the numbers game

Lance Armstrong, quitter

Harold Bishop, good egg

Boycott, exciting

Idi Amin, misunderstood

George W. Bush Jnr., misunderestimated

Robert Mugabe, high maintenance wife

Charlie Chaplin, a bit quiet

Charles Ingram, an arse

Charles Kennedy, Scotch

Brian Blessed, a good laugh

Roald Amendsen. Who??????

Marie Antoinette, modest

George W. Bush Jnr, freedom fighter

The lion's share of these were created by Mr. Marsden. I hope you liked them and I now give you the opportunity to add some more of your own. Simply add a comment. I think we should also thank Mr. Marsden for providing us with a link to an amusing factpage about Chuck Norris, that can be found here:

http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty

Enjoy.

A Nicer Part of York Campus

Here you can see the Quiet Place. You can hire it out for private meditation and personal contemplation. Through the gate is the walled garden. To the left are mashmallow shaped bushes:

This delightful water feature is next to the Croquet lawn:

This is the picture that goes on all the prospecti. Heslington Hall: the nicest building, next to King's Manor in the city centre. The croquet lawn is the flat, grassy bit in front:

New meets old. Derwent College can be seen partially, to your left. Lovely 60's undertones going on there. In the foreground we have a totemic sculpture, recently finished, which if you look closely, is a big collection of birds, flying upwards. According to a recent study, York has the largest concentration of ducks and wildfowl of any university in England and Wales. So, if bird flu hits Britain, we'll be the first to go:

Heslington Hall, front:

Like I promised...

As I just remembered you all hadn't seen me and the gentleman from the Japanese Embassy, here is the picture I said I'd show you on the frem, however I didn't know how to post photos on there. Anyway, here it is (note his honorary University of York scarf; a gift from the UNA):
Ouch, that is a poor choice of shirt. I hate not having people to do laundry for me up here. I think it went better with the jacket and tie in real life.

Dark and Dastardly York

Here are some photos of my walk home this morning. The Millenium Bridge when dark. No kevs/chavs though, which was nice. Probably because it was a school night:


Here is a picture of the River Ouse (pronounced Ooze), taken shortly after the picture as seen above. The lights on the right hand side light up the riverside walk, which takes you into the city centre. Sometimes it floods:


This picture pays homage to the great piece of architectural genius that is the Millenium Bridge. Look at it. Beautiful:


This is an okish lit walkway that takes you to the creepy passageway. Lots of rabbits about this time of night:

This badly lit and creepy back passage leads onto St. Oswald's Road. On the left hand side, there is a wall that runs all the way along it. On the other side of this wall, there is a trailer park, complete with the scent of urine (variable):

NB: This is only a taste of the dark underworld I have to traverse as I make my way back to Northern HQ.

The J.B. Morrell Library

This is the J.B. Morrell Library. Not the most attractive of buildings, but it does the job. There is an urban legend circulating that when the architects originally designed this building, they did not take account of the potential weight of the books. Thus, it is slowly and gradually, slipping down the hill toward the road. Having a road going through campus gives it the Kevicc feel, I like:


This is the silent study room, that was built more recently. It's not that silent, as there's always someone rustling papers too loudly:

This undisclosed corner of the library is a favourite area of mine, as it is also Mr. Barnard and Ms. Craig (who both recommended the spot). Quiet, out-of-the-way and with good views over campus, this is a good place for work, or doing bugger all. As you can see from the photo, I have been hard at study, making notes from Richard Gunther's seminal piece of editorship "The Politics of Democratic Consolidation":

I would have taken more pictures of my favourite spots in the library, but all were occupied.

Virtual Tour of Northern HQ

St. Oswald's Road, where my Northern HQ can be found:

The sublime Granny Flats opposite the HQ:

Front of Northern HQ:

Nerve centre of Northern HQ, as you enter the door:

Nerve centre of Northern HQ, from another angle:

Walk-in wardrobe. Note silver, Monty Python, Ministry of Silly Walks tie:

The View from the nerve centre window, overlooking Northern HQ grounds:

The First Post

Greetings to you all!

Welcome to "The Adventures of MJ" blogspot. Inspired by the successes of the boy and Rosie's travel blog and Joe's Sri Lankan based blog, I decided it was about time I had my very own.

I have very little to write here really, other than enjoy, keep watching and good luck.

Thank you all for your time.

Transmission ends

MJ out